There’s a place in LA, experienced by a privileged, petrified few, that’s run by a close Venice beach mate of mine, Frank ‘Zapper’ Jr.
Forget psychology, hypnosis, or cold turkey, Frank’s never been one for conventional methods; he prefers a more prongs-on approach.
‘Friends’ of Frank know he’s there for them when they need A REAL shock to the system to spark change – with my new class I’m bringing it across the pond to you and your buddy, who will need to work as a team as quickly as possible to prevent going to Zap and back. Fear, used right, is an unparalleled motivator – Keep checking here for further details of the most electrifying work out around.

When Becky came to me, complaining of regularly feeling light headed I knew I had to take serious action. I built her this special machine which not only helps keep her arms, stomach and lower back in top shape, but most importantly, keeps the blood in her brain.

She might be a local laughing stock, but despite a notably redder face, Becky wants everyone to know she isn’t remotely embarrassed. She feels great!

Wei came to me wanting to get fitter in the hope it may help find him a job. During Wei’s warm up breathing exercises I spotted an irregularity which I turned in to an opportunity – Now I push Wei to the max every time, making sure he leaves me ‘breathing’ heavy.

Knowing that Wei passes ‘Balloon Monsoon’ on his way home, I put the two in touch. At his most exhausted, Wei can now blow up 72 balloons in 4 minutes. They’re chuffed with his puff and are only too happy to pay for it. ‘Wee’ Wei’s makin’ some serious mon-wei.

Join my American football camp training  class:  GRID IRON at Holborn, Wednesdays at noon starting in April!!!  You will work harder than a freshman draft pick in spring season training.  I’ll make you a Tight End before you know it. If you think you can survive rock up for it!

These guys have got in touch with me, hoping to launch a new brand of water-weight bottle. The all new ‘Plutonium Water Bottle’ range.

Plastic is out and Plutonium is in! It’s the densest, heaviest metal known to man; which the company hope will give their customers a harder, more intense work out.  They also want to fill the new bottles with Rhino charge!
There are a few small teething problems; Rhino Charge stored in plutonium dissolves teeth, but the manufacturers are confident they can overcome this and are working around the clock to get the range in a sports shop near you soon.

I have saved a fortune this month since I installed my ‘Power Wheel’. It now directly powers all the electrical items in my flat from the TV to the Yuk Blender. This baby brings a whole new meaning to ‘Man Power’.

It has saved me a fortune in electricity bills and I would recommend it to anyone who doesn’t mind sitting in the dark after a hard day.

Even the most thorough of work outs can leave certain parts of the body unused. My Hands-On Hands program makes sure your feelers’ ain’t one of them. It’s time to pull your finger(s) out. Here’s the routine: Digit Dips – press each of your fingers against a hard surface 207 ½ times. Quickly – don’t linger the finger.

Finger and Thumb Chums – Wrap each of your fingers in turn around your thumb 4,623 times. Repeat daily, and in 2 weeks, flip someone the bird, they’re gonna KNOW about it!! I’m talking intensified no-nonsense hand swearing at your enlarged finger tips.

The I hate it work out is based on the notion that you attack your weakest links head on.  Invariably these are the same exercises we suck at and the body parts that are lagging behind grow in size, strength and proportion!

Here are the basic principals:

1.  Formulate your weekly  training split to BEGIN with the body part you hate most.
In doing this you mentally get the worst bit out of the way first and the rest of the week will be a breeze.  Also you will be freshest and strongest from a weekend of rest for your first workout of the week!

2. Within each body part program make a list of all your favorite and best exercises.  Now scratch them out and for the next 4-6 weeks concentrate on the exercises for that group you are the absolute worst at.  The ego killers.  Pull-ups?  Free squats?  Reduce the weight on these  (or increase the assistance) to the point where you can tackle the form to perfection and build your way up from the bottom properly.

I guarantee your muscles will be shocked into cellular and strength gains!

And then fine , you can go back to the party pump chest press machine afterwards!!!

I feel GREAT. A client of mine from Glasgow took me out to experience the latest craze from home which has hit London hard – the ‘Curryoke’ night.
When I ordered a Korma, he pulled me to one side, telling me we were going to do this properly. He got me a Vindaloo and signed me up to sing Don’t Stop Me Now.
I’m still buzzing! – A powerhouse Mercury vocal and curry hotter than a residential home radiator is a mix that literally burns fat! Awesome night!

It’s freezing cold, and you’re bus isn’t due for another 15 minutes…. This is dead time.

Until now.

I’m a shelter visionary, hoping to implement the ‘weights while you wait’ mentality across all public transport.

I don’t want a bus-stop, I want a bus-start. I am in talks with local councils to give commuters a real chance to travel light. Watch this space.